table for one: my love letter to solo traveling.
and why you should do it at least once
Hear me out: I know it’s scary and I know there’s a lot of questions surrounding, “but what do I do by myself?” and I’m here to tell you that it is 1. not as scary as you’re making it out to be and 2. you can do ALL THE THINGS.
Before I went on my first solo international trip in 2019, I was the type of person that never wanted to do anything alone. I clung onto being with at least one other person because I was codependent, but also because my fear of other people judging me being alone was too great.
I took the leap and went to France by myself in 2019 where I later joined a girls group trip and then in 2022, I did a completely solo trip to London and I had the best time.
There’s a time and place for group traveling and traveling with friends and significant others. In my personal opinion, to truly grow as a person, you need to break out of your comfort zone and do something fearful because when you come out on the other side, you’re going to wonder what took you so long. That’s exactly what happened during my London trip. Why did I care SO MUCH about being alone? Newsflash: literally no one cares that you’re solo. It’s the spotlight effect and you just THINK everyone is thinking, “omg she’s by herself, she must be miserable and have no friends.” Ha, I actually think quite the opposite these days when I see someone at a table by themselves. I’m like, “wow, good for them. They’re taking themselves out.”
My top reasons why I love solo traveling
You can be selfish and do whatever you want. Like, literally, ANYTHING. You don’t have to think about another person and whether or not they want to do something. You don’t have to worry about whether or not someone is having a good time. You just have to worry about yourself and plan YOUR day around YOU.
You’re on your own timetable. One of the best parts of solo traveling is you don’t have to care about someone else’s schedule. You make your own schedule. Want to sleep in because of jetlag and not have worries about the other part(ies) waiting for you? Do it. I did, and one morning I woke up at 9:30am and slowly got ready for the day. You eat when you want and you go to bed when you want.
You can truly enjoy your own company. How often are you really alone on a day to day basis? Not often. Solo traveling gives you the ability to enjoy yourself and truly be. I existed for me and oddly, I loved my company. I loved just being myself.
Your feelings are your own and you don’t have to worry about someone else’s feelings. I loved this part because I’m such a people-pleaser that I’m constantly worried about how others feel about my plans, etc. Solo traveling says ‘fuck those feelings’ and you just worry about yourself. Too tired to go out to eat? Sweet. Order takeaway from a restaurant and bring it back to the hotel room!
It builds a kind of confidence you’ve never had before. I can’t explain the feeling, but it just empowers you and also kind of makes you love yourself more. Kind of like, “yeah! I can do hard things alone and it’s not the end of the world.” For me, it actually taught me a lot about myself and it gave me the ability to see things through me alone and not anyone else’s thoughts or opinions. It honestly gives you so much power to control how your day is going to be, and I loved that feeling.
Restaurant reservations aren’t needed. Seriously, dining for one has all the perks. You can go to the most coveted restaurants with impossible-to-get reservations and say you’re dining for one and going to sit at the bar. You get the same food and there’s no FOMO for not getting a reservation “in time.” This was my favorite part of traveling solo. This also ties into “you’re on your own timetable” because there were many days I ate super early (I enjoy eating early haha) like 5pm, and tables were readily available that I didn’t have to go sit at the bar.
I hear these questions often:
“But won’t people think I’m weird for dining alone?” No. No one actually cares. The spotlight effect makes it seem like everyone is staring at you or watching your every move, but trust me…people are more involved with themselves than you think.
“Is it safe?” I mean, what makes you think traveling with a companion is any safer? Haha…use street smarts. Don’t do obvious things that would get you into trouble, like would you go into a dark alley at 2am normally? Would you accept an invitation from some random person to go to their house at night? I don’t know, I guess all this seems pretty basic to me. Everywhere is safe as long as you are aware. Of course, check the State Department’s website to make sure you aren’t traveling to a “do not travel” country first.
“Does it get boring?” No way. If you’re going somewhere new or returning to some place you love, there is ALWAYS something to do and things to see! Certainly tons of food to eat!
My therapist once told me that fear is often the feeling that keeps people from pursuing what they want to do. Fear is valid and fear also holds you back from so much. I want to encourage you to break through that and really embrace the freedom that it is to be YOU.
Is solo traveling on your bucket list or have you done it already? More questions about it? Drop a comment below and share your thoughts!
xx
-Julie
I love traveling alone. I travel a lot for work and am frequently on my own but even when I meet up with coworkers I still love going to dinner by myself. haha.
I travel to Mexico alone frequently and absolutely love it. I find that as a 60-something woman I am treated with a great deal of respect (the days of being hassled by men are over, good riddance). People (in Mexico, anyway) are kind and helpful if I need assistance. And yes, it’s great to linger at a market and look at stuff, without having to worry that your companion is bored. I do travel with a vegan friend whom I adore, but obviously if I’m alone I don’t have to worry about her dietary preferences. People are shocked all the time that I travel alone, especially to Mexico—“isn’t it dangerous?” I am always aware of what’s around me and ironically the only time I had a negative experience (which was actually quite a ridiculous failure of a scam) was when I was with a friend who was speaking loudly in English. I do speak Spanish, which helps. Also I am an insomniac who keeps weird hours so it’s great not to share a hotel room.